Desiree

Still bitter

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:02:29 GMT

I'm gonna hafta stay away from the net until this book comes out. Don't ask me what book it it, thats irrelevant. Its this disappointment I'm focusing on. The last thing I wanna read is the fangirl comments such as "I'd buy this author's work even if she wrote a grocery list" Erm, I don't think so. This book is hardcover. Which means about $20 bucks and up. You know how much space a hardcover takes up? I wait for the paperback if I like the books. Very few books out there that catch my attention. You know what? I'm gonna hafta invest in more male writers. They don't yank your chain around.

Its just a book.

Fuck off!! I yell. Patient in next bed mumbles "You talking to me", inches away from the pissed of looking RN.

Yup, I'm still pissed of.

Has this ever happened to you?

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:33:15 GMT

I've been reading this author's book series for years and expected this couple to have a HEA(happy ever after) due to the clues the author dropped in the books. Only to find out that she will be putting them with other people. Mind you she did start a triangle angle a few books ago.

Crap!! the book hasn't come out yet, but I read that someone knows someone who has the ARC of this book I was looking forward to and spilled the beans. I couldn't believe how momentarily depressed I felt. Its just a book for goodness sake.

{Evil voice in my head} Maybe you need a life!!

{Rational normal voice in my head} Whoa! Hang on a minute there Evil. Des is happy, gainfully employed, and in good health. That was uncalled for.

Maybe I need some new book suggestions.

Suggestions anyone?

Back from barbados, back to real life

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 07:16:00 GMT

I used to be such a consistent blogger 5 or more years ago, now I don't have the patience for it.

Anyways, my 3 weeks in Barbados was wonderful. I didn't realize how fatigued I was until I was rolling in the white sand and clear blue sea. After 2 days, I realized that all my aches and pains had disappeared. Mom enjoyed herself also. And.........(drum roll please) I met a guy. A man who was interested in me 14 years ago, while I was having a long distance romance with an idiot who ultimately dumped me. Apparently, yours truly made quite an impression. Hehehe. Made me feel all warm and tingly hearing that. Good for a girl's ego. I find it quite fascinating that when I go on holidays I seem to attract the attention of lots of men. Might be the fact that I'm in a country where men seem to appreciate females with some meat on their bones. But I think its the fact that my inhibitions left me once I set foot on the tarmac at Grantley Adams International airport. Alright, I admit it. I said I was going to get laid! I had a plan and followed through with it. And damn don't I feel lots better.

I've kept in touch with the guy, but I'm not going to go down the long distance relationship path. Its too lonely and ultimately someone gets hurt in the end. For now, my life is here in Montreal. But damn don't I miss Barbados, the sights, the smell, the laid back life of the locals. I'm going back next year for vacation. I realize that I miss my brother who I hadn't seen since 1994!!! Since my dad died 5 years ago, I've realized the importance of family. My nieces and nephews are a trip and a half. Reminds me of when I was a teenager before all of my adult fears and cynicism stopped me from pursuing goals I had. I'm reconnecting with that lost inner child and finding it quite refreshing

I'm at a good place in my life. Got some goals I would like to accomplish, but I can do it on my own schedule. I think that it is important for me to have balance in my life....... something to even out the stress from work and family..........good with the bad. Recently, I joined the gym and have lost a little bit of weight. I go and workout and just try and be good to myself. Whereas before my whole body image focus was external, now its internal.

Could it be........that I've grown up ? Yeah, I think so. You know what? It feels........right.

I really am a terrible blogger

Wed, 21 May 2008 03:01:08 GMT

Its been 25 weeks since my last confession, erm.. I mean journal entry.

But I have great news. Guess who is going to Barbados for 3 whole weeks.............that's right..ME!!!

(Desi jumping for joy) I promise to take lots of beautiful pix with my recently purchased digital camera.

Bye for now, got a dental appointment in the morning

Once again.........I hate windows,msn, bill gates

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 08:16:27 GMT

So now I can't get into my hotmail account when I'm using my Safari browser. Fecking pigs! Apparently, I need to use IE or firefox to acess Windows Live. I have an IMAC!!! So Windows Live can drop dead!

So my vacation is coming to an end and I'll be returning to work on Tuesday. Yippee.....not! Being away from the madhouse that is the hospital floor where I work is essential to my sanity. I indulged in some early Xmas gifts for myself. I spent--brace yourself people--$184.00 in expensive perfume. I've always liked ANGEL by Thierry Muegler(sp?), so I bought some. Visited Old Navy and invested in some night fleece tops to keep the girls warm. I'm really regretting not going to shop in NY, but besides no passport, I wasn't in the mood to travel alone. Maybe next year.

Montreal had its first snowfall on Thursday. Along with freezing rain. Yup, a regular psychotic Quebec winter.

So did everyone have a nice Thanksgiving? Hope so.

November update

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 02:22:29 GMT

Hello friends!

Thought I'd do a quick update since I haven't come by here in over 2 1/2 months. Where do I start?

On September 21, I was waiting for the bus to take me to work. I stepped in a small ditch while in line to go on the bus, and broke the fifth metatarsal bone in my left foot. It felt as if something twisted twice, then a pop. After the pop I knew I was in trouble. 15 minutes later, after the adrenaline had worn off, it began to throb and hurt real bad. Desi was not doing very well. Dragged myself upstairs and told the head nurse what happened. She sent me straight to the Emergency dept where they x-rayed my foot and informed me I would be off work for 4 weeks. I would have jumped for joy being off on salary insurance for 4 weeks, but the pain was at its worse.They sent me home with painkillers and anti-inflammatory meds. To make a long story short, I was incapacitated for 4 weeks. I learned an important lesson..........when you have a bad limp, don't jaywalk. LOL

It was hard returning to work and doing 12 hour shifts, but I survived and I started a 2 week vacation this weekend Wheeeeeeee!!!!

Going to a birthday party tomorrow. It will be potluck, someone who shall remain nameless....volunteered that I would prepare some stewed chicken. The birthday boy has a beautiful condo and the company will be fun, as usual.

Oh, I put my VISA to work and bought a Ipod nano today. (Spins around in her chair like a maniac)

Happy upcoming Thanksgiving to all my American friends!!!!!!

I'm no longer an online virgin

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 21:01:00 GMT

(Sighs deeply)...........Yes, I went and did it.

I made my first online credit card purchase. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! It's so much fun. Bought myself some scrubs for work. Now, I'm looking for some other stuff to purchase.

Anyone else purchase stuff online? Please feel free to share your details with me.

Des (busy eyeballing some leather handbags online)

An annoucement

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 05:31:35 GMT

With all of this Harry Potter hoopla happening all around me I must interject and declare..............I HAVE NOT READ ANY OF THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS!!!!!

........thank you

Please return to regular programming

Quick drive by

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 02:12:58 GMT

Greetings and salutations,

Its my weekend off, so I'm being a complete sloth. Oh!!! Guess who bought herself a new computer?!! Moi! Mon ami Marty talked me in to buying an IMAC. God, its so classy and clean. Still haven't got my internet hooked up to it though. And I have to figure out a way to get the old files of my old computer onto the Imac. So many things to do, so little time.

We had quite a bit of snow yesterday. That didn't stop me from going out and doing my stuff. Today, the weather warmed up and the snow melted from the sidewalks and roads. Lots of snow elsewhere though.

I'm making dulce de leche for my alfajores. Can we say diabetes in one cookie? Yeah, well what the hell. I plan on sharing the sweets and calories. This year I'm gonna be generous.

OH..I signed on MSN one late night and chatted with Aya. Haven't chatted with anyone in months. It was nice.(Waves to Aya.)

I'm here impatiently waiting for J R Ward's new book to hit the stands. I think I hear my VISA card calling to me.

Later

Sick as a dog

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 04:13:01 GMT

Yup, this just is icing on the cake of this holiday season for me. Got some gastro problem that has now turned into the flu. I'm hoping and praying that I'll feel well enough to go to work on Monday. Tonight, I had a fever of 38 degrees celsius, thats 100.4 degrees fahrenheit for my friends in the USA. Took some Tylenol and the headache disappeared along with the chills. I hate it when I get sick.

I Finally did it!

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 08:19:43 GMT

I went and applied for my first Visa credit card. The lady at the bank filled out the form and said that I should receive my card in 2 weeks. Yippeeee!! I think I'll buy a few things online.

So.....fellow friends gimme some credit card usage advice.

So, this is Christmas time?

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 08:06:55 GMT

Its kinda strange. When I was unemployed I was more into christmas than I am now that I'm working. Just not feeling that old holiday spirit and I'm not alone. A good number of my colleagues have stated that they are also feeling the same way. To top it off, I'm working during the day Dec 25 and I do 12 hour shifts, so I won't have time to celebrate with my family and friends. Maybe I'll make a few goodies and share them with the medical staff and the patients. I guess I shouldn't complain. I have my health, my family is healthy and safe, I'm gainfully employed, and have a roof over my head. My patients will be in the hospital for christmas, away from their loved ones, and stuck with semi-depressed nurses.

The weather here in Montreal has been downright balmy for the last week. Not a snow flake to be seen anywhere. But then I better shut up and enjoy it while I can cause I know the below freezing temperatures will be upon us soon.

A quick update

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 20:59:30 GMT

I got your memo Karee!

My god! I can't believe I haven't posted here in such a long time. Let me give you all a recap of what I've been doing for the last 9 months. I took a course and now I'm back at work full time as a nurse on a general medicine floor. That is right I'm employed with lots of money to spend. Okay, not lots but enough to keep me very happy. The only drawback is that I work 12 hour shifts, so I don't have much time for anything else other than sleep on days that I work. I barely watch tv or surf the net anymore. I haven't chatted in months with any of my online friends. Things change and life goes on. I'm in a really good head space right now. I'm currently making a list of things I would like to accomplish in my life and doing them. Next up, learning to drive and taking an art course.

Oh yeah, since I've started working I've lost about 20 pounds without doing any dieting or hardcore exercise. Its coming off on its own due to my working my ass off. Who knew walking walking up and down hospital corridors could be so beneficial.

Okay, thats it for now. Hope that all of my live journal friends are doing well and are in good health.

Desi

Off to see an old friend

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 15:50:32 GMT

I'm off to a little afternoon party for a woman whom I haven't seen in about 8 yrs. We used to be close, but then she was felled by MS(multiple sclerosis)and was no longer able to walk properly or care for herself. She didn't have much of an easier life prior to the onset of the disease. The home that she is in is a good distance from me, but honestly we had grown apart before she got sick anyway. Life happens like that, needs change, people leave our lives for a multitude of reasons, sometimes you just outgrow them. I'm curious to see how she is doing and to hook up with other members of her families that I see in passing.

I'm trying to get out and do more stuff. The weather isn't helping though. I think its about -17 degrees Celsius outside. Thank godness someone is coming to pick me up cause in all honesty I wouldn't be going some place that I wasn't familiar with while the weather is so inclimate. Now, I have to get up and adress this bush I call my hair. Yuck. I'm off. Hope everyone is having a nice relaxing Saturday.

Okay........I'm calmer now

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 22:26:53 GMT

Yes, I have gotten over the crappy play of the Canadian men's olympic hockey team. (grumbles under breath) I suppose the argument for bringing back amateur athletes to play in olympic hockey will be started by this whole debacle aka Team Canada. Because, honestly, amateur athletes will put their lives on the line for the gold medal, played their asses off. Whereas rich NHLers might not be as hungry because they know that no matter what happens they will return to bright lights and big money in the NHL. Joe Shmoe would cherish a gold medal as probably their only chance for a piece of olympic history and Canadian pride. FYI for non Canadians, Hockey is life here in the 49th parallel. On Wednesday after the team Canada lost........and lost badly I might add(don't get me started). I swear I felt the whole country just fall into depression. LOL. It got so bad that with 2 minutes left in the 3rd period, I turned off the tv cause I knew that they wouldn't win and belive me I think they could've.Yes, I'm bitter. But I'll get over it.

I just knew that by Gretzky and Co. putting Bertuzzi on the team would be a disaster. And who got the the penalty that led to the Russians scoring a goal....(drum roll)......Todd Bertuzzi!!!

Desi(contemplating jugging down a few brewskis eventhough she hates beer)

Now,back to our regular broadcast.

Deconstructing Desiree

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 04:48:44 GMT

Hi, my name is Desi. I take care of others (friends, family,etc.,), so I won't have to look too closely at my own life. Or as the title says: What Happens When a formerly Hardcore Co-Dependant-Who- Doesn't- Want-To-Take-on- Anyone-else's-Shit!!! gets Help. I'll tell ya what happens. Remember that anger you tried to ignore and swallow with all of those sugary fat-ladened food? Its still there. Now, its pounds and pounds of fat that make up an armor that I've come to realize is slowly killing me rather than protecting me. Houston.....we have a problem.

Its taken me years and years to meticulously construct and reinforce this armor of fat. I built it for many reasons. I built it to keep people away from, okay lets get honest here. It keeps men away from wanting me cause you know only perverts and old men like fat women, right? Also, I use it to keep myself from going forward and living my live to its fullest. I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about. I pretend that by not trying I'm really not a failure becasue HEY!! I didn't really try. The stupid mind games that we indulge in. I've had many light bulb moments and have even written about some in this journal. Most of the time I try to keep things light, but I can't this time. No more glossing over things, no more prettying up the ugliness of wasted years. For the life of me I can't think of any joke to diffuse the darkness of how I feel. And ya know what? I'm gonna dwell in it for a bit, embrace it, feel it. Then I'll step back and de-construct the monstrous creation that I've built. I need to do this for various reasons. There's the pain in my hips and ankles, to the tightness in my chest when I have to climb 4 flights of stairs, to the realization that my preference for solitude is just another name for masking how alone I really feel. Yes, today is the day I begin the quest for a true and free me.

BELATED HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!!

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 19:31:05 GMT

I thought I'd update this blasted thing. People must have been wondering what the hell happened to me. Well, nothing much. I'm alive and doing well.

Hope all of my fine and fabulous LJ friends are doing fine too.

Desi
(skampering off to catch up )

I'm back!!!.......(again)

Mon, 30 May 2005 00:42:57 GMT

Greetings my fellow LJer's,

Yikes!! I haven't posted here in like 2 months. Nothing much has really happened.(Liar, denyer----screams the voice in my head.) Just ignore her, I do.

But seriously, I've missed you all and I'm in the midst of catching up with all that I've I've missed. Look out for my comments cause from what I've seen.........some of the same ole tired shit has floated to the top of the septic tank...........AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Medical news

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 04:28:35 GMT

(sighs) I've been having really bad headaches for the last few days. Took my blood pressure and it is high. Pisses me off royally. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so I'll see what happens. I was feeling a bit stressed and my hormones haven't been behaving lately. I just hope he doesn't decide to put me on anti-hypertensives. I detest taking medication. I prefer to change other aspects of my life.......such as my excess poundage.

(Chants to self) I will not get stressed, I will not get stressed..........

Fun day at the hospital

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 02:19:22 GMT

I went and did some routine blood tests at the hospital this morning. I fasted for 14 hours and lived thru it. Any hoo, while I was there dodging all those sickly looking, phlegm infested hospital denizens, I got cruised by an Indo-Asian gentleman. He actually grabbed me by the sleeve of my coat and insisted I wait for him while he got his hospital card, and then asked if I wanted to go for coffee after. I politely declined to acquiese to his request(that means I said no.) Sorry, I was having a Pirates of the Caribbean moment there. Just slap me.

I chuckled to myself all the way home. LMAO........being cruised in a hospital of all places!!!

ER

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 05:49:59 GMT

Tonight on "ER" Sharif Atkins returned in the role of Dr. Michael Gallant. Gallant is now stationed in Iraq. For some reason, I like the interaction between him and Neela on ER. Here's to looking forward to more about their burgeoning relationship. It must be the romantic in me that loves happy reunions and such.

Kinda reminded me of MASH a little.

I need some suggestions for books

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 11:18:20 GMT

Okay everyone listen up!

I'm a rabid book reader who can read a book in a few hours if it interests me.

I'm curious about what my friends like to read, so I thought I'd ask you all and in the process maybe get some new titles that I could read.

Doesn't matter what tastes you all have just gimme some suggestions. Don't make me hafta beg!!

Stolen from Karee who teefed it from Mami....

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 10:51:49 GMT

Ah ha! I beat you Karee. Holy shit, I've seen quite a few movies in my day.

01. Trainspotting
02. Shrek
03. Memento
04. Dogma
05. Strictly Ballroom
06. The Princess Bride
07. Love Actually
08. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
09. The Lord of the Rings : The Two Towers
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
11. Reservoir Dogs
12. Desperado
13. Swordfish
14. Kill Bill Vol. 1
15. Donnie Darko
16. Spirited Away
17. Better Than Sex
18. Sleepy Hollow
19. Pirates of the Caribbean
20. The Eye
21. Requiem for a Dream
22. Dawn of the Dead
23. The Pillow Book
24. The Italian Job
25. Goonies
26. BASEketball
27. The Spice Girls Movie
28. Army of Darkness
29. The Color Purple
30. The Safety of Objects
31. Can't Hardly Wait
32. Mystic Pizza
33. Finding Nemo
34. Monsters Inc
35. Circle of Friends
36. Mary Poppins
37. The Bourne Identity
38. Forrest Gump
39. A Clockwork Orange
40. Kindergarten Cop
41. On The Line
42. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
43. Final Destination
44. Sorority Boys
45. Urban Legend
46. Cheaper by the Dozen
47. Fierce Creatures
48. Dude, Where's My Car
49. Ladyhawke
50. Ghostbusters
51. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
52. Back to the Future
53. An Affair To Remember
54. Somewhere In Time
55. North By Northwest
56. Moulin Rouge
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
58. The Wizard of Oz
59. Zoolander
60. A Walk to Remember
61. Chicago
62. Vanilla Sky
63. The Sweetest Thing
64. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead
65. The Nightmare Before Christmas
66. Chasing Amy
67. Edward Scissorhands
67. Battle Royale
68. Kill Bill Vol. 2
69. Fight Club
70. Clerks
71. The Crow
72. Get Real
73. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's/ Philosopher's Stone
74. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban
75. Wake
76. Silence of the Lambs
77. Pulp Fiction
78. The Crying Game
79. Amélie
80. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
81. Happy Campers
82. Velvet Goldmine
83. Elephant
84. Peter Pan
85. Camp
86. Particles of Truth
87. The Godfather
88. Big Fish
89. The Passion of the Christ
90. Close Encounters of the Third Kind
91. The Neverending Story
92. The Breakfast Club
93. Newsies
94. Princess Mononoke
95. The Prince of Egypt
96. Grease
97. The Hidden Fortress
98. Troy
99. It Happened One Night
100. Hackers
101. Dead Poets Society
102. Ghost Ship
103. The Wedding Banquet
104. The Red Violin
105. The Beach
106. The Women
107. Run Lola Run
108. The Quiet Man
109. X-Men
110. X-2
111. Spiderman
112. Punch Drunk Love
113. From Dusk 'Til Dawn (regretfully)
114. Joe Vs. The Volcano
115. Meet Joe Black
116. Gregory's Girl
117. In the Time of the Butterflies
118. The Butterfly Effect
119. Dirty Dancing
120. Final Destination 2
121. Rosemary's Baby
122. Spider-Man 2
123. Practical Magic
124. A Shark Tale
125. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
126. Sweet Home Alabama
127. American Beauty
128. Rocky Horror Picture Show
129. American Psycho
130. American History X
131. The Forgotten
132. The Black Stallion
133. Secret Window
134. Anchorman: Legend of Ron Burgandy
135. Cellular
136. Mallrats
137. Mulholland Drive
138. Seeing Double
139. Clueless
140. Dr. Strangelove
141. Huit Femmes
142. Dumb & Dumber
143. Overboard
144. Tommy Boy
145. Talk To Her
146. Party Monster
147. Taxi Driver
148. Jackie Brown
149. Gods and Monsters
150. Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera
151. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
152. The People Under the Stairs
153. Dying Young
154. The Cutting Edge
155. Finding Neverland
156. The Blues Brothers
157. Shock Treatment
158. Pretty in Pink
159. Tommy
160. Scent of the Green Papaya
161. Indochine
162. A Home At The End Of The World
163. S.W.A.T.
164. Girlfight
165. Boondock Saints
166. "O"
167. Hart's War
168. The Pianist
169. The Piano
170. Knockaround Guys
171. Snatch
172. To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar
173. The Birdcage
174. The Ref
175. Beyond The Sea
176. The Village
177. Saw
178. The Shawshank Redemption
179. Bridget Jones' Diary
180. The Incredibles
181. Dogfight
182. The Matrix
183. Matrix Reloaded
184. Zuckerbaby
185. Diva
186. Boiler Room
187. Romuald et Juliette
188. Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Desi coming in from the cold

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 10:33:45 GMT

Greetings friends,

I have returned to the Net. Lots of stuff happening in rl. My blood pressure went up for a few days. I'm not positive, but I think it was cause I was anxious and feeling a bit down. Luckily, everything is okay now, but I'm gonna go and get a physical to be sure. M is due back from Mexico. I'm looking forward to seeing him cause while he was gone I missed him, but got caught up on some reading. It has been beyond freezing here. Whereas other provinces have been plagued by snowstorms, ice storms, and in some places rain--its just iceville here in good ole Quebec. Interestingly enough, I don't find it that cold. I've felt colder than this. I think that it is because there hasn't been high winds accompanying the cold. Nonetheless, I've been going out and making sure I don't get bored.

I'd like to send my thanks and love out to those off you that left me kind words in my previous entry. I'll miss Henry. But I'm also heartened to know that where he is now, he's no longer suffering.

I'm sick......

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 00:59:16 GMT

My immune system is shot to hell. I have yet another cold. Had one in Nov 2004, now I've got another one. Hmmm......time to start taking care of myself. That or bitchslap the next person on the bus who dares to cough without covering their mouth

Got some sad news this morning. My best friend's dad died. And I'm not taking it too well. I gotta go lie down now. Life is just a bit too harsh for me today.

Peace