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Dec. 9th, 2008 @ 04:54 pm Still bitter
I'm gonna hafta stay away from the net until this book comes out. Don't ask me what book it it, thats irrelevant. Its this disappointment I'm focusing on. The last thing I wanna read is the fangirl comments such as "I'd buy this author's work even if she wrote a grocery list" Erm, I don't think so. This book is hardcover. Which means about $20 bucks and up. You know how much space a hardcover takes up? I wait for the paperback if I like the books. Very few books out there that catch my attention. You know what? I'm gonna hafta invest in more male writers. They don't yank your chain around.

Its just a book.

Fuck off!! I yell. Patient in next bed mumbles "You talking to me", inches away from the pissed of looking RN.

Yup, I'm still pissed of.
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Dec. 5th, 2008 @ 12:34 pm Has this ever happened to you?
Current Location: my room
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Gorecki by Lamb
I've been reading this author's book series for years and expected this couple to have a HEA(happy ever after) due to the clues the author dropped in the books. Only to find out that she will be putting them with other people. Mind you she did start a triangle angle a few books ago.

Crap!! the book hasn't come out yet, but I read that someone knows someone who has the ARC of this book I was looking forward to and spilled the beans. I couldn't believe how momentarily depressed I felt. Its just a book for goodness sake.

{Evil voice in my head} Maybe you need a life!!

{Rational normal voice in my head} Whoa! Hang on a minute there Evil. Des is happy, gainfully employed, and in good health. That was uncalled for.

Maybe I need some new book suggestions.

Suggestions anyone?
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Aug. 1st, 2008 @ 02:36 am Back from barbados, back to real life
I used to be such a consistent blogger 5 or more years ago, now I don't have the patience for it.

Anyways, my 3 weeks in Barbados was wonderful. I didn't realize how fatigued I was until I was rolling in the white sand and clear blue sea. After 2 days, I realized that all my aches and pains had disappeared. Mom enjoyed herself also. And.........(drum roll please) I met a guy. A man who was interested in me 14 years ago, while I was having a long distance romance with an idiot who ultimately dumped me. Apparently, yours truly made quite an impression. Hehehe. Made me feel all warm and tingly hearing that. Good for a girl's ego. I find it quite fascinating that when I go on holidays I seem to attract the attention of lots of men. Might be the fact that I'm in a country where men seem to appreciate females with some meat on their bones. But I think its the fact that my inhibitions left me once I set foot on the tarmac at Grantley Adams International airport. Alright, I admit it. I said I was going to get laid! I had a plan and followed through with it. And damn don't I feel lots better.

I've kept in touch with the guy, but I'm not going to go down the long distance relationship path. Its too lonely and ultimately someone gets hurt in the end. For now, my life is here in Montreal. But damn don't I miss Barbados, the sights, the smell, the laid back life of the locals. I'm going back next year for vacation. I realize that I miss my brother who I hadn't seen since 1994!!! Since my dad died 5 years ago, I've realized the importance of family. My nieces and nephews are a trip and a half. Reminds me of when I was a teenager before all of my adult fears and cynicism stopped me from pursuing goals I had. I'm reconnecting with that lost inner child and finding it quite refreshing

I'm at a good place in my life. Got some goals I would like to accomplish, but I can do it on my own schedule. I think that it is important for me to have balance in my life....... something to even out the stress from work and family..........good with the bad. Recently, I joined the gym and have lost a little bit of weight. I go and workout and just try and be good to myself. Whereas before my whole body image focus was external, now its internal.

Could it be........that I've grown up ? Yeah, I think so. You know what? It feels........right.
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May. 20th, 2008 @ 10:57 pm I really am a terrible blogger
Its been 25 weeks since my last confession, erm.. I mean journal entry.

But I have great news. Guess who is going to Barbados for 3 whole weeks.............that's right..ME!!!

(Desi jumping for joy) I promise to take lots of beautiful pix with my recently purchased digital camera.

Bye for now, got a dental appointment in the morning
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Nov. 25th, 2007 @ 03:00 am Once again.........I hate windows,msn, bill gates
So now I can't get into my hotmail account when I'm using my Safari browser. Fecking pigs! Apparently, I need to use IE or firefox to acess Windows Live. I have an IMAC!!! So Windows Live can drop dead!

So my vacation is coming to an end and I'll be returning to work on Tuesday. Yippee.....not! Being away from the madhouse that is the hospital floor where I work is essential to my sanity. I indulged in some early Xmas gifts for myself. I spent--brace yourself people--$184.00 in expensive perfume. I've always liked ANGEL by Thierry Muegler(sp?), so I bought some. Visited Old Navy and invested in some night fleece tops to keep the girls warm. I'm really regretting not going to shop in NY, but besides no passport, I wasn't in the mood to travel alone. Maybe next year.

Montreal had its first snowfall on Thursday. Along with freezing rain. Yup, a regular psychotic Quebec winter.

So did everyone have a nice Thanksgiving? Hope so.
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Nov. 19th, 2007 @ 09:02 pm November update
Hello friends!

Thought I'd do a quick update since I haven't come by here in over 2 1/2 months. Where do I start?

On September 21, I was waiting for the bus to take me to work. I stepped in a small ditch while in line to go on the bus, and broke the fifth metatarsal bone in my left foot. It felt as if something twisted twice, then a pop. After the pop I knew I was in trouble. 15 minutes later, after the adrenaline had worn off, it began to throb and hurt real bad. Desi was not doing very well. Dragged myself upstairs and told the head nurse what happened. She sent me straight to the Emergency dept where they x-rayed my foot and informed me I would be off work for 4 weeks. I would have jumped for joy being off on salary insurance for 4 weeks, but the pain was at its worse.They sent me home with painkillers and anti-inflammatory meds. To make a long story short, I was incapacitated for 4 weeks. I learned an important lesson..........when you have a bad limp, don't jaywalk. LOL

It was hard returning to work and doing 12 hour shifts, but I survived and I started a 2 week vacation this weekend Wheeeeeeee!!!!

Going to a birthday party tomorrow. It will be potluck, someone who shall remain nameless....volunteered that I would prepare some stewed chicken. The birthday boy has a beautiful condo and the company will be fun, as usual.

Oh, I put my VISA to work and bought a Ipod nano today. (Spins around in her chair like a maniac)

Happy upcoming Thanksgiving to all my American friends!!!!!!
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Aug. 28th, 2007 @ 04:57 pm I'm no longer an online virgin
(Sighs deeply)...........Yes, I went and did it.

I made my first online credit card purchase. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! It's so much fun. Bought myself some scrubs for work. Now, I'm looking for some other stuff to purchase.

Anyone else purchase stuff online? Please feel free to share your details with me.

Des (busy eyeballing some leather handbags online)
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Jul. 22nd, 2007 @ 01:29 am An annoucement
With all of this Harry Potter hoopla happening all around me I must interject and declare..............I HAVE NOT READ ANY OF THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS!!!!!

........thank you

Please return to regular programming
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Mar. 3rd, 2007 @ 09:03 pm Quick drive by
Greetings and salutations,

Its my weekend off, so I'm being a complete sloth. Oh!!! Guess who bought herself a new computer?!! Moi! Mon ami Marty talked me in to buying an IMAC. God, its so classy and clean. Still haven't got my internet hooked up to it though. And I have to figure out a way to get the old files of my old computer onto the Imac. So many things to do, so little time.

We had quite a bit of snow yesterday. That didn't stop me from going out and doing my stuff. Today, the weather warmed up and the snow melted from the sidewalks and roads. Lots of snow elsewhere though.

I'm making dulce de leche for my alfajores. Can we say diabetes in one cookie? Yeah, well what the hell. I plan on sharing the sweets and calories. This year I'm gonna be generous.

OH..I signed on MSN one late night and chatted with Aya. Haven't chatted with anyone in months. It was nice.(Waves to Aya.)

I'm here impatiently waiting for J R Ward's new book to hit the stands. I think I hear my VISA card calling to me.

Later
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Dec. 23rd, 2006 @ 11:11 pm Sick as a dog
Yup, this just is icing on the cake of this holiday season for me. Got some gastro problem that has now turned into the flu. I'm hoping and praying that I'll feel well enough to go to work on Monday. Tonight, I had a fever of 38 degrees celsius, thats 100.4 degrees fahrenheit for my friends in the USA. Took some Tylenol and the headache disappeared along with the chills. I hate it when I get sick.
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Dec. 19th, 2006 @ 03:18 am I Finally did it!
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: The friends of Mr.Cairo/Anderson+Vangelis
I went and applied for my first Visa credit card. The lady at the bank filled out the form and said that I should receive my card in 2 weeks. Yippeeee!! I think I'll buy a few things online.

So.....fellow friends gimme some credit card usage advice.
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Dec. 19th, 2006 @ 03:05 am So, this is Christmas time?
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Love Song / The Cure
Its kinda strange. When I was unemployed I was more into christmas than I am now that I'm working. Just not feeling that old holiday spirit and I'm not alone. A good number of my colleagues have stated that they are also feeling the same way. To top it off, I'm working during the day Dec 25 and I do 12 hour shifts, so I won't have time to celebrate with my family and friends. Maybe I'll make a few goodies and share them with the medical staff and the patients. I guess I shouldn't complain. I have my health, my family is healthy and safe, I'm gainfully employed, and have a roof over my head. My patients will be in the hospital for christmas, away from their loved ones, and stuck with semi-depressed nurses.

The weather here in Montreal has been downright balmy for the last week. Not a snow flake to be seen anywhere. But then I better shut up and enjoy it while I can cause I know the below freezing temperatures will be upon us soon.
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Nov. 12th, 2006 @ 03:59 pm A quick update
I got your memo Karee!

My god! I can't believe I haven't posted here in such a long time. Let me give you all a recap of what I've been doing for the last 9 months. I took a course and now I'm back at work full time as a nurse on a general medicine floor. That is right I'm employed with lots of money to spend. Okay, not lots but enough to keep me very happy. The only drawback is that I work 12 hour shifts, so I don't have much time for anything else other than sleep on days that I work. I barely watch tv or surf the net anymore. I haven't chatted in months with any of my online friends. Things change and life goes on. I'm in a really good head space right now. I'm currently making a list of things I would like to accomplish in my life and doing them. Next up, learning to drive and taking an art course.

Oh yeah, since I've started working I've lost about 20 pounds without doing any dieting or hardcore exercise. Its coming off on its own due to my working my ass off. Who knew walking walking up and down hospital corridors could be so beneficial.

Okay, thats it for now. Hope that all of my live journal friends are doing well and are in good health.

Desi
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Feb. 25th, 2006 @ 10:38 am Off to see an old friend
I'm off to a little afternoon party for a woman whom I haven't seen in about 8 yrs. We used to be close, but then she was felled by MS(multiple sclerosis)and was no longer able to walk properly or care for herself. She didn't have much of an easier life prior to the onset of the disease. The home that she is in is a good distance from me, but honestly we had grown apart before she got sick anyway. Life happens like that, needs change, people leave our lives for a multitude of reasons, sometimes you just outgrow them. I'm curious to see how she is doing and to hook up with other members of her families that I see in passing.

I'm trying to get out and do more stuff. The weather isn't helping though. I think its about -17 degrees Celsius outside. Thank godness someone is coming to pick me up cause in all honesty I wouldn't be going some place that I wasn't familiar with while the weather is so inclimate. Now, I have to get up and adress this bush I call my hair. Yuck. I'm off. Hope everyone is having a nice relaxing Saturday.
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Feb. 24th, 2006 @ 05:12 pm Okay........I'm calmer now
Yes, I have gotten over the crappy play of the Canadian men's olympic hockey team. (grumbles under breath) I suppose the argument for bringing back amateur athletes to play in olympic hockey will be started by this whole debacle aka Team Canada. Because, honestly, amateur athletes will put their lives on the line for the gold medal, played their asses off. Whereas rich NHLers might not be as hungry because they know that no matter what happens they will return to bright lights and big money in the NHL. Joe Shmoe would cherish a gold medal as probably their only chance for a piece of olympic history and Canadian pride. FYI for non Canadians, Hockey is life here in the 49th parallel. On Wednesday after the team Canada lost........and lost badly I might add(don't get me started). I swear I felt the whole country just fall into depression. LOL. It got so bad that with 2 minutes left in the 3rd period, I turned off the tv cause I knew that they wouldn't win and belive me I think they could've.Yes, I'm bitter. But I'll get over it.

I just knew that by Gretzky and Co. putting Bertuzzi on the team would be a disaster. And who got the the penalty that led to the Russians scoring a goal....(drum roll)......Todd Bertuzzi!!!

Desi(contemplating jugging down a few brewskis eventhough she hates beer)

Now,back to our regular broadcast.
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Feb. 21st, 2006 @ 11:48 pm Deconstructing Desiree
Hi, my name is Desi. I take care of others (friends, family,etc.,), so I won't have to look too closely at my own life. Or as the title says: What Happens When a formerly Hardcore Co-Dependant-Who- Doesn't- Want-To-Take-on- Anyone-else's-Shit!!! gets Help. I'll tell ya what happens. Remember that anger you tried to ignore and swallow with all of those sugary fat-ladened food? Its still there. Now, its pounds and pounds of fat that make up an armor that I've come to realize is slowly killing me rather than protecting me. Houston.....we have a problem.

Its taken me years and years to meticulously construct and reinforce this armor of fat. I built it for many reasons. I built it to keep people away from, okay lets get honest here. It keeps men away from wanting me cause you know only perverts and old men like fat women, right? Also, I use it to keep myself from going forward and living my live to its fullest. I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about. I pretend that by not trying I'm really not a failure becasue HEY!! I didn't really try. The stupid mind games that we indulge in. I've had many light bulb moments and have even written about some in this journal. Most of the time I try to keep things light, but I can't this time. No more glossing over things, no more prettying up the ugliness of wasted years. For the life of me I can't think of any joke to diffuse the darkness of how I feel. And ya know what? I'm gonna dwell in it for a bit, embrace it, feel it. Then I'll step back and de-construct the monstrous creation that I've built. I need to do this for various reasons. There's the pain in my hips and ankles, to the tightness in my chest when I have to climb 4 flights of stairs, to the realization that my preference for solitude is just another name for masking how alone I really feel. Yes, today is the day I begin the quest for a true and free me.
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Jan. 11th, 2006 @ 02:32 pm BELATED HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!!
I thought I'd update this blasted thing. People must have been wondering what the hell happened to me. Well, nothing much. I'm alive and doing well.

Hope all of my fine and fabulous LJ friends are doing fine too.

Desi
(skampering off to catch up )
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May. 29th, 2005 @ 08:42 pm I'm back!!!.......(again)
Current Mood: amused
Greetings my fellow LJer's,

Yikes!! I haven't posted here in like 2 months. Nothing much has really happened.(Liar, denyer----screams the voice in my head.) Just ignore her, I do.

But seriously, I've missed you all and I'm in the midst of catching up with all that I've I've missed. Look out for my comments cause from what I've seen.........some of the same ole tired shit has floated to the top of the septic tank...........AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mar. 21st, 2005 @ 11:28 pm Medical news
(sighs) I've been having really bad headaches for the last few days. Took my blood pressure and it is high. Pisses me off royally. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so I'll see what happens. I was feeling a bit stressed and my hormones haven't been behaving lately. I just hope he doesn't decide to put me on anti-hypertensives. I detest taking medication. I prefer to change other aspects of my life.......such as my excess poundage.

(Chants to self) I will not get stressed, I will not get stressed..........
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Mar. 10th, 2005 @ 09:18 pm Fun day at the hospital
I went and did some routine blood tests at the hospital this morning. I fasted for 14 hours and lived thru it. Any hoo, while I was there dodging all those sickly looking, phlegm infested hospital denizens, I got cruised by an Indo-Asian gentleman. He actually grabbed me by the sleeve of my coat and insisted I wait for him while he got his hospital card, and then asked if I wanted to go for coffee after. I politely declined to acquiese to his request(that means I said no.) Sorry, I was having a Pirates of the Caribbean moment there. Just slap me.

I chuckled to myself all the way home. LMAO........being cruised in a hospital of all places!!!
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